Aspects in psychotherapy
The inner child - a part of us
The “inner child” is a term used to describe the part of our inner life that was formed during this time and continues to influence adulthood. It is about the imprints we experienced, consciously or unconsciously, during that time.
The child has little choice
Particularly relevant in the context of psychotherapy is the realization that many of our adult behavioral patterns, “how we act in the world”/ perceive it, were originally survival strategies. They were entirely justified at the time: they served to maintain the bond with close caregivers under sometimes difficult conditions—subtle rejection, neglect, or other toxic dynamics. A child has no choice and cannot survive on its own.
The child adapted by becoming particularly well-behaved, achievement-oriented, quiet, or otherwise behaved. These strategies were helpful at the time, indeed often essential.
Here is a very adequate video input from Gabor Maté to this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3bynimi8HQ
In adulthood, these patterns can often have a blocking/ limiting effect. They can manifest on a cognitive level in beliefs such as: “I’m not (good) enough” “I have to perform to be loved” “I have to please everyone” “Life is hard” “I don’t deserve happiness” or “I mustn’t show weakness” etc.
These often deeply rooted, sometimes unconscious beliefs don’t just appear cognitively as thoughts—they are also physically anchored ➜ body memory 🦵 I’ve experienced this firsthand in many different ways through holotropic breathwork and the self-awareness I have undertaken.
It is therefore not always/ necessarily sufficient to question them cognitively. Healing often only occurs when one is allowed to feel these old inner states—and simultaneously experience new, corrective ones. Feel it to heal it.
This is precisely where the profound effect of holistically oriented integrative therapy lies.
Issues of an unhealed Inner Child
People-pleasing (putting others above one’s own needs)
Setting boundaries, standing up for oneself
Feeling numb/ disconnected from oneself, feeling nothing
Seeking validation only from outside / compensation / working “very hard” (to prove one’s worth)
Fear of abandonment/ rejection
Unhealthy relationship dynamics / narcissistic, rejecting, cheating partners
Co-Dependency
etc.
Do you identify with that and want to make a change? Feel free to contact me for a free 15 Minute ➜initial consultation.
1x1 mental hygiene
Work in progress…
Crisis vs. Chance
Psychological crises can creep up on us quietly or suddenly strike – but they have one thing in common: They force us to pause, look, and confront ourselves.
This confrontation is not comfortable. It can be painful, confusing, and unsettling. Many people feel shame or weakness when they become psychologically unbalanced and tend to suppress or downplay their inner struggles. But this is precisely a central, if not THE central aspect: What we don’t look at remains unresolved – and what we don’t understand cannot help us change and grow. Ignoring a crisis means missing an important opportunity: the chance to get to know ourselves and our own inner patterns.
The decision to consciously confront one’s own (perceived as unhealthy) experiences is a courageous step. It requires honesty, patience, and often the willingness to ask for and accept help. This step is voluntary, but looking back, many people show that it was precisely the most difficult phases of their lives that provided the impetus for significant changes.
Boundaries for beginners
I understand you’re upset and would like to listen to your thoughts, but I don’t have the capacity right now.
You have every right to feel that way, but I don’t want to take sides on this issue.
I’d really like to help you, but I have some urgent matters to attend to for myself first.
I’m a bit busy right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I have time.
I’d rather not talk about my relationship/my body/my decision, etc. right now.
Sometimes here a reason is given. In reality, however, a “No” speaks for itself and doesn’t need a reason.